So, where am I now? Today is day 241. Each day is hard, but still somehow easier than the day before. I have those old feelings nagging at me everyday.. especially when things do not go my way… any little bump could be the trigger that sets me off and causes my ultimate down fall. And if that happens, what do I stand to lose really??? Oh, just everything…
So when those knots start forming in my stomach, when I feel like saying screw all this.. I try to step back.. I try to think of something calming.. the smile on my boys faces, the way they laugh, the silly faces they make and it helps.. it takes me out of my head for just long enough to get control of myself…
Sometimes I find myself trying to fix other people though, trying to make them do what I want them to do or what I think is the best thing for them to do. I have to remind myself of something a friend of mine says.. you can only take care of your stuff, if your side of the street is clean, you have to let them take care of their side. That’s just so hard to do… but its necessary..
And another thing that helps me is too sing (in my head only… no one wants to hear me actually singing ) Here Comes the Sun George Harrison makes me feel very Zen LOL
