Birthdays

Last night I went to my weekly meeting (with my family schedule I really can never plan to make more than one meeting a week), and a very nice woman was celebrating 7 years in the program with no relapses. People from all over came because its such an awesome accomplishment. A few people with 20+ years of abstinance mentioned what an inspiration she was for them. She has had many health challenges to deal with and she still has this peace and tranquilty about her, it truly is amazing.

Last night I also celebrated my 6 month mark. A man with 20 years said that 6 months is also a great accomplishment, only 1 in 20 people in our 12 step program make it to that milestone with no relapses.

I was very excited about the woman celebrating 7 years, she gives me hope, and I see that no matter what, if you follow the steps, you don't have to fall back into the old self destructive patterns.

I found myself thinking about when I have my 1st birthday, then I had to stop myself. If I plan too far ahead in my recovery and I focus on that, I will miss the little things that come in my way and I will stumble and fall and have to start over again.

I fell asleep last night thinking about the last 6 months, and they have been very hard.. some of my worst days EVER.. but undoubtedly many of my best days too... I am not in a self-centered fog anymore... I don't spend anxious hours wondering how I can get my particular "fix" or thinking about how I can get some money to finance my habit... and this is a change in my life I could never have expected or hoped for...

So I am proud of my 6 months and 5 days, and I concentrate on today.. and I hope for tomorrow to be strong.. strong enough to call someone if I need a hand to keep me from falling again....